real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize