He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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