sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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