I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
