you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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