We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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