booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize