Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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