Plan B is the new Plan A
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
