Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Randomize
