I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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