"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
