i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
