so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize