Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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