So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
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