We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize