so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Panties = found
Randomize
