She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
