ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
