and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
