My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
you told grandpa to call you daddy
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
