yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
