I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
