Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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