WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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