Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
