Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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