i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
