Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
