So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
