I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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