I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize