just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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