quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
