brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
