i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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