I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
