I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
