Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
