READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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