Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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