Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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