We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
