What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
