i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
