i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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