Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
