you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
