There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize