never play flip cup with pint glasses
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
