You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
