haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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