I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
