Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
