Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I know her cup size but not her name....
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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