She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
