I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
