why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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