how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
