Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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