who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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