You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
