okay pat passed out under dana's car
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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