dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
