if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
