She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
