I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
