kristin has been a bad kristin
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
