I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize