Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
