i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
