So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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