so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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