I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
