I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
